Britney Spears shared – and then deleted – a 22-minute voice note revealing new allegations about her 13-year conservatorship, which governed almost every aspect of her life. “I felt like they threw me away,” she said, referring to her family.

Spears was placed involuntarily under conservatorship on 1 February 2008 by her father, Jamie Spears, and lawyer Andrew M Wallet after displaying erratic behavior in public for several months. Spears claimed that the arrangement came about because she spoke “in a British accent to a doctor to prescribe my medication… three days later there was a Swat team in my home, three helicopters.”

The “extent of my madness” she described as “playing chase with paparazzi, which is still one of the most fun things I did about being famous, so I don’t know what was so harmful about that.”

She claimed that the arrangement was “all premeditated,” and claimed that “a woman introduced the idea to my dad and my mom actually helped him follow through and made it all happen,” presumably referring to Lou M Taylor, Spears’ former business manager and the figure believed to have introduced Jamie Spears to the idea of the conservatorship. Taylor has denied having any involvement in its development.

“I had no drugs, no alcohol, nothing in my system.” “It was pure abuse, and I haven’t even shared half of it,” Spears said.

The Guardian has reached out to Jamie Spears’s representatives for comment.

Lynne Spears, Spears’ mother, responded to the tape by posting a photo of the pair on Instagram with a lengthy caption insisting that she had tried to help her daughter. “Britney, I’ve tried my hardest my entire life to support your dreams and wishes!” In addition, I have done my best to assist you in overcoming difficulties! I have never and will never abandon you! Your rejections of the numerous times I’ve flown out and called leave me feeling hopeless! Everything has been tried. I adore you, but this conversation is strictly between you and me, face to face and in private.”

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Spears stated that she was immediately put to work after being hospitalized for two weeks while “completely traumatized out of my mind,” filming a TV show and beginning work on her 2008 album Circus.

“All I remember is doing what I was told.” Every day, I was told I was fat and that I needed to go to the gym… I’ve never felt so demoralized… They made me feel insignificant, and I went along with it because I was afraid.”

Britney Spears pictured in 2018.

Spears began a residency in Las Vegas in 2013. She previously stated that she was only paid $2,000 per week for a four-year run of shows that earned £138 million.

She lamented in the new note that her dancers were allowed to have fun on nights out while she had to follow her father’s rules, describing it as “this conspiracy thing of people treating me like a superstar but yet they treated me like nothing.”

During her residency, she claimed she devised a plan to flee the country with a man she was in a “secret relationship” with.

Spears said she “started to get a spark back” while working on her ninth album, Glory, in 2016.

“I believe that with confidence comes enlightenment, which leads to better thinking, and that’s the last thing they wanted me to do – to actually be better, because then who would be in control?” But it was difficult because I had to pretend that everything was fine all the time, and I had to go along with it because I knew they could hurt me.”

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She claimed, however, that she was then forced to go on tour. As she previously stated in her June 2021 testimony at a court hearing on the conservatorship, she refused to accept some new choreography at one rehearsal. “The next day, I was told that I needed to be taken to a facility and that I needed to explain on Instagram that it was because my father was sick and I needed treatment.”

She claimed that when she protested with her father, he told her, “Now, you don’t have to go, but if you don’t go, we’re going to court, there’ll be a big trial, and you’re going to lose.” I have far more supporters than you. You don’t even have an attorney. So don’t even consider it.”

Spears stated that at this point in her life, she “kind of stopped believing in God… I didn’t understand how 40 people could leave my house every day and force me to work from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., be seen every time I changed in the shower, no privacy, no door, nothing… I couldn’t even light a cigarette. People on death row are allowed to smoke cigarettes.”

Britney Spears performing in Las Vegas in February 2016.

She claimed that the growing #FreeBritney movement compelled the facility’s owner to let her out. “What made it really confusing for me is that these people are fighting for me on the street, but my sister and mother aren’t doing anything.” It was as if they secretly, honestly, liked me being the bad guy, as if I was messed up and they liked it that way. Otherwise, why weren’t they standing outside my door, yelling, “Baby girl, let’s get in the car, let’s go?”

Spears lambasted her sister Jamie Lynn Spears in January for selling a memoir “at my expense.” “It’s become exhausting when conversations and texts we have in private don’t match what you post on social media,” Jamie Lynn responded. I know you’re going through a lot, and I never want to minimize what you’re going through, but I also can’t minimize myself.”

When she returned home, she claimed she found two people to assist her with therapy, which was not the type she claimed she received in the facility. “Why have therapy when it is forced and carried out in a militant, almost prison-like manner?”

Protesters from the #FreeBritney movement outside the Los Angeles court where Spears gave her testimony.

She stopped speaking to her father. “I think they just knew I wasn’t coming back.” She said that prayer and the ability to hire her own lawyer, Mathew Rosengart, helped her get through it. Attempts to hire a lawyer through her own phone had previously been thwarted, she claimed, because her phone had been tapped and would be taken away from her.
A judge terminated Spears’ conservatorship in November 2021. Spears married her long-term boyfriend, Iranian-American actor Sam Asghari, after the couple split up. She was not allowed to marry or manage her own birth control under the terms of the conservatorship, she told the court.

Spears stated that she turned down the opportunity to speak with Oprah Winfrey about her experiences. “I feel kind of silly getting paid to tell your story,” she said. She also stated that she was afraid of being judged by others and of being embarrassed. She could tell her story now because she was more confident, she said.

She was referring to Hold Me Closer, her new duet with Elton John, which was released on August 26. “Right now, I’m working on an amazing song with one of the most brilliant men of our time, and I’m so grateful.”

“But if you’re a weird, introverted oddball like me who often feels alone, and you needed to hear a story like this today so you don’t feel alone, know this my life hasn’t been easy, and you’re not alone.”